NOT GUILTY!

The original title for this post was going to be:

CRAM IT, SHOVE IT, STICK IT!

But I think that ANY crime I committed within the next 3 hours would be declared not guilty by reason of insanity from ANY jury in the country.
Let me back up and start at the beginning............................

Monday morning, 7:35 am. It is still pitch dark outside and hovering at the freezing point. I get dressed in a hurry and wake up the kids. Why? It is time for our final inspection to check out of housing. I have 10 minutes to get over there and spray every room with Fa Breeze, especially the carpet, because we were told if they see a stain, they will sniff it and try to determine what it is.
(I used that example after our pre inspection for my older children, showing them how important a college education was, so you didn't have to crawl around on people's floors for a living sniffing spots on the carpet to determine if it was urine or milk.)

Another neighbor said to bring ALL the kids, it helped be a distraction to the inspector.

There is a military / mafia scam on this base. If you don't pay a cleaner from their list, you don't pass. It truly is insane. So we payed, and FAILED. Because of the blinds.I must have missed that tiny part of the cleaning contract that said they don't DO blinds when that is part of the checkout and they originally said they do everything required for checkout. I didn't speak one word to them I was so angry. They have to be there for the checkout, and when they told the inspector that wasn't in the contract, there was nothing he could do. So they all left, and the inspector said he would be back in an hour and a half for another inspection.

Now, I have NOTHING. The house is totally empty. I go to the neighbors and beg cleaning supplies from them and clean as high as I can reach, as I have nothing to stand on either. Silently sinning with bad thoughts about the cleaners.; a sweet neighbor takes the kids to their house and feeds them breakfast because they are starving and freezing. At 10:10, the inspector comes back, barely looks at the blinds, and signs the papers. I think he might have seen the insane / murderous look in my eyes and got scared and just wanted to leave. :) He NEVER even checked the carpets by the way!!!

We have to check out of the TLF by 11:00. I called and asked for a one hour extension, but was denied. SO in 50 minutes, I had to pack up and load up the TLF. Now, remember, we had been there for a WEEK. That is plenty of time to get comfortable, and lazy, and have things kind of spread out everywhere. Sam wasn't there. He was at his final out meeting signing all his papers. That means everything meant for 2 vehicles, had to be put into one. Besides the 11am checkout time, Sam had a medal ceremony at the chapel at 11 we needed to be at. So we were rushing around just throwing stuff together. I really did yell, "Just get it all! Cram it, shove it and stick it anywhere you can put it!" So the kids followed instructions and we made the cutoff by 5 minutes.

On the drive to the chapel, Collin looked like a person about to drown in an elevator. He was sitting on a suitcase on top of Tiff's car seat with his nose up to the top of the ceiling trying to breathe. Stuff was EVERYWHERE! I prayed that God would blind the eyes of any security patrol that drove by (it was only 2 blocks away). We made it to the medal ceremony. Sam looked so handsome in his blues!! It was ALMOST the last of the goodbyes. A few more tears.

Then we went to get the trailer. The previously mentioned Beverly Hillbillies trailer. Rearranged the stuff in the van so all the kids could be belted in and I could see out of the windows. Sam took the kids to the BX for a last lunch with friends, and I headed out for a few more tearful goodbyes.

I get to the BX, all splotchy and ugly from crying, and the kids are drinking SODA! Large cups of soda. They don't get a lot of soda, but they really love it. I don't mind it on special occasions, but right before a long drive is NOT the time. Seriously! There will be potty stops every 15 minutes!

There is a fine line between boredom "i am thirsty" drinking in the car, and medical dehydration. When they say they are thirsty on a long drive, I ignore it. When they complain that their lips are cracking, then they can have a few sips.

We made the 4 hour drive to Salt Lake City in 7 hours. Not joking. We left the base at 1:37 pm, and at 1:58 pm Kaebrie asked if we were in Mississippi yet. Not joking. We had to make a lot of potty stops, and a lot of stops trying to find a connector so the trailer would have lights. Nobody had it. Finally, when we reached Salt Lake, a very nice guy at the U-Haul made one. Took him over an hour, but it works great! We made it to the base, unloaded, and crashed. EVERYTHING had to be unloaded, because my usual travel uber-organizer self knew where nothing was because everything has been, crammed, shoved and stuck somewhere that morning! :)

I repacked the next morning, felt myself calm down because everything was back in its place, and patiently waited for Sam to fill his car with gas. Missing the exact moment when he drove off.......with the pump still attached to his car. Yes, I have a picture. Yes, he was so embarrassed. Yes, I felt sorry for him. Yes, I was so glad he gave me permission to blog about it. :) If there was ever an example to show how exhausted we are, this would be it. Picture to be posted as soon as I get to a computer where I am allowed.

We got on the road. Utah (you-ha as Kaebrie calls it) was so beautiful. The trees are glorious and the mountains are stunning. About an hour into the drive Kaebrie starts fussing. I ask her why she is upset, and she says that Star-Light and Thunderhead (her imaginary horses mind you) are stuck upon the mountain and can't get down. Thank goodness that those horses learned to fly about 2 minutes later or I don't know what I would have done!

It was a long day. We went about 11 hours to the Air Force Academy. Unloaded, and crashed. Today we made it to Wichita Falls, Kansas. McCord Air Force Base I think the name is. Woke up with a bad cold. Haven't felt good all day, tired, grumpy, tired of kids, tired of noise, just wanting to take my NyQuil and crash. And they give us a ONE bedroom room. Seriously. NOWHERE to escape. Kids everywhere on the floor. Not even the closet is big enough to put anyone in!! That did not help my mood. They are good kids, and they have done an AWESOME job traveling, but I am not up for any mom-of-the-year awards right now and just need a break. When Kaebrie got upset today that she couldn't watch the DVD movie because Larry Boy (another imaginary friend) was using her headphones, I told her he could ride on the roof and she got even more upset.

I feel calmer now. I have been in this empty computer room for about an hour, not a human in sight. Time to go back, pop my pills and hope everyone sleeps. Maybe they all need some pills too!!??

Tomorrow we make it to Little Rock.

Friday, to our new home.

To bad I can't find Dorothy since we are here in Kansas and borrow her red slippers and click them 3 times!