My Turn

Well, it was BOUND to happen. We have escaped it for over three years now, we have come REALLY close before, and yes, we have laughed at those it has happened to.

No more laughing.

Well, actually I did.

Driving back onto base Tuesday afternoon, we got stopped. Now, you always have to stop and show your ID card to get on.

But usually there are hired security workers who stand there all day and check. As we drove up, the security worker handed my ID card to a military cop who had just walked out who had a rifle. Up walked another cop, with a rifle, and said I had been chosen for a random security check, please drive over to the search area and await instructions.

Now, the van windows are really dark, and it just looked like it was only me in there. I pull over, roll down the window, and he says to turn off the vehicle, open all the doors and exit. I ask him if they all had to get out.

He looks in, and the look on his face was so funny!!!!

There are 4 children, stuffing their faces with McDonalds (because I had to bribe them because I wanted to take more pictures of them in Boise trying to get my Christmas card picture and they didn't want any more pictures taken, and before I ever had children I said I would never be the kind of mother who bribed her children, but that topic will be for another post).

The car smelled like a fast food joint. As we had been gone all day we had extra stuff with us as well. All our picnic stuff was piled in the front passenger seat as our trunk was full. Filled to the brim with FORTY-SEVEN pounds of apples!

Now, these cops are young guys (young guys with rifles). It was almost like I could read their minds. They opened a mini van, it is filled to the brim with children and fast food and picnic supplies, a trunk full of produce and it was almost like they were thinking...."I am NEVER going to get married and have kids if this is what I have to look forward to."

Then it gets better.

Now, just visualize, we are at the checkpoint, the trunk open high, both front doors wide open, both side doors open, and by now the kids have unbuckled and are excitedly asking questions. French fries are falling to the ground, two apples rolled out of the back, Kaebrie is singing, and these 2 guys are ready to be GONE from us.

Then one of them says, "Ma'am, you need to pop your hood."

A moment of silence. Then I say, "I don't know how."

Now let me explain, the van is new, I have never had need to pop the hood, and after a few minutes of SEARCHING for a button on the console and below, I give up and admit I just can't. So they both are now crawling around trying to find a release button. They can't find it either. I do offer to get out the owners manual and look up how to open the hood, but by now they have had enough. I am obviously not a terrorist, just a crazy mom with a lot of kids who are tired of being in the van for 2 hours and they want to get home so they can play with their friends.

They look at each other, and say, "That won't be necessary." I think they are more than ready to be done with this random vehicle check.

"The last thing we need to check are your glove compartments. Please open them and step back," they say.

I hesitated, not because I am packing ammunition and bombs, but because my glove compartment is full of barf bags. 36 Delta barf bags.

I step to the side of the van, let them crawl in, and I start to giggle. If ONLY I could have taken a picture of their faces when they thumbed through 36 barf bags.

Once of them glances behind him at all the kids, who by now have finished their french fries, and he jumps out of the van.

What was he thinking? That a mom who carries around that many barf bags might have kids who spontaneously projectile vomit or something? Who knows, but they said they were done and hightailed it out of there. I got the kids all buckled back in, all the doors closed, and laughed all the way home.

I still don't know how to pop the trunk, but I bet all the moms on base who drive dark blue mini vans will be safe from random vehicle checks for awhile.

:)