Snapped: The Ankle: One Year Later

I still look at that x-ray and shudder. Is all that metal really in me? I have very very vivid memories of that day and the next weeks and months, but I also have a lot of holes in those memories. I think that has to do with the amount of drugs I was taking for the pain.

Anyway, why this post? Well, a few months ago Sam upgraded to a new phone and I was given his old Blackberry. I found a lot of these pictures on there that I had never seen. (Or had seen, but they fall into those drugged out memory holes and I don't remember.) I decided to put these photos on here so they would make it into our yearly book. That might seem a bit gruesome to some, but I will always be thankful for the reminder.

Below is the picture when we first got to the ER. The swelling was starting. We were still hoping at this point to hear it was just a bad sprain. The original sock I was wearing was soaked in ginger ale, so I had Kaitlynn get this clean sock for me, because I NEVER went barefoot, for ANY reason.

Jump ahead a week. We found out that first day that 2 bones were broken. Found out the 4th day that 3 bones were broken. Surgery was on day 5. Below is the inside on the foot, there they put a bar and 5 screws.

Now the yucky one, the outside of the ankle where they put a bar and 8 screws. Also 2 rods going straight through from the top to the back. Basically they had to reattach my foot. {shudder}.

The worlds first glimpse of my toes. I DO remember Sam putting this on face book. I don't remember what I said to him when I saw it. I should probably be thankful for those memory holes. This had to have been before surgery. Pictures are out of order. That is a swollen foot! She said it might take a year for the swelling to go away. Well, I have reached a year and it is STILL swollen. Maybe tomorrow it will just disappear and be normal!?!

Getting the first cast off was scary. That spinning blade so close to so much pain really did scare me. But Hal, who was the only one I would let work on me each time, was WONDERFUL!

The open bandage after surgery. The first cast didn't go on for 2 weeks, then a few new casts every 2 weeks after that for awhile. Two weeks later the nerve damage reared its ugly head and was diagnosed. A scary day. I ended up being put to sleep 8 times over the next 3 months while they did spinal injections hoping to help the nerve disorder. It did make it better, but it never went away.

Today, one year later, the top of my foot is still completely numb. The pinkie toe is normal. The rest of the toes are....insane? crazy? They burn, they jab, they are hypersensitive, parts of the tops are completely numb, but I am getting used to it. I just still have to sleep in my sneaker because the pressure of any type of covers sends the nerves into a painful, cramping uproar.

I did have 6 months of great physical therapy. I don't know if I will ever get full range of motion. The arthritis has set in because the joint was broken into many pieces. I hurt. Sometimes a lot. Every day. I am the most UNgraceful person coming down stairs. I might never ski again. I might never skip or run again.

But I can walk. I can take care of my family. I can sleep in my own bed (and after MONTHS on the couch I am still thankful for that.) I can drive, and after not being able to for 3 months, that is something I will never take for granted again. I don't take a lot of things for granted anymore. I am so much more aware of my blessings and so much more thankful for every day things. A few weeks ago I wrote the following note below. It just expressed a lot of what I have learned through this: